Save Your Scissors
by Dylan8
Summary: Kurt is tired of the bullying.  He copes with it the only way he knows how.  What happens with Finn barges in on something he's never seen before?  Rated M for theme and some language. Strong mentions and imagery of self-harm. Read at own risk. One shot


**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee [yet] All characters and anything Glee related are RM's and Fox...**

Kurt Hummel pulled into his driveway that afternoon feeling pretty morose. The day of high school bullying ended, but cyber bullying was waiting for him on his laptop. He turned the car off and leaned back in his seat. He closed his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath. He thought about the true friends he had; Mercedes, Finn, Tina, Rachel (most days) and his newest friend, Blaine. However, the amount of bullies at school, plus the number of cowardly anonymous ones that hid behind their computer screens outnumber Kurt's support system. He slowly opened his eyes. Neither his father's or Carole's cars were in the driveway. He thought about his stepbrother. He either forgot to wait for him at school or he went to Rachel's house. He couldn't quite remember. Not that it mattered. He would be home alone which made coping with everything more easy sometimes. Well, at least the way he coped with things. The unhealthy way.

Kurt grab his messenger bag from the passenger seat, threw it around his shoulder and got out of the car. He walked up to the door whilst staring at the ground. Some days were harder than others. Today was one of those days. His back was sore from being shoved into a locker for what seemed like the hundredth time, and his heart ached from the name calling and whispering. As he took out his house key and unlocked the front door, he tried his hardest to remember what Blaine told him_. Courage. _He walked in and closed the door behind him. "Fucking courage." He quietly thought out loud. "Screw it."

As he headed upstairs, he passed his bedroom and tossed in his school bag. He made his way down the hall, past Finn's bedroom, and walked into the bathroom. He shut the door and walked over to the sink. He leaned on the tiled countertop and stared at himself in the mirror. He examined his reflection carefully. The self loathing started to kick in. He began to see what the other's saw. A weak, small, ugly, vulnerable excuse for a man. He shut his eyes as he heard the voices from school in his head. _Gay Boy. Lady. Queer. Loser. Reject. Homo. Fairy. Fag. _He put his hands his to ears and shook his head as he started to cry. He looked back at himself in the mirror. His eyes were getting puffy. His cheeks red and tear stained. In the mirror, he noticed Finn's iPod sitting on the back of the toilet seat. Normally, he would have been disgusted and make a mental note to lecture him later about e-coli and fecal matter but that wasn't important right now.

He turned around, wiped his eyes and grabbed the mp3 player. He placed the ear buds in his ears, turned it on and hit shuffle. He was never a big fan of Finn's taste in music but he needed to hear anything other than his own thoughts at this point. He sat down on the floor with his back against the door. He drew his knees to his chest and rocked back and forth. Songs by Dashboard Confessional, Brand New and Taking Back Sunday weren't helping.

Several songs later, he couldn't take it anymore. The urge was getting more and more tempting. It had been 8 days since the last time. The day before Blaine visited him at school. 8 days since he felt this worthless. He touched his ankle through his jeans and felt the scab. It didn't hurt. Not really. Just a little tender. He slowly rolled up his pant leg, exposing years of scars that crawled up his leg. Some dark red, a few white but most of them faint pink. He could never let anyone find out about his sadistic habit. No one was ever suspicious since he kept his arms clean and legs covered. Something no one questioned. He thought back to his first time. A little over a year after his mother passed. He didn't have many friends. He and Burt had trouble finding a common ground. Kurt was confused and lonely that night he took a butter knife to the area above his knee. It barely left a scratch but something about it was comforting to him.

Kurt stood up, walked back over to the sink and reached for his shaving bag. He unzipped it and took out all of his moisturizing lotions until he saw what laid at the bottom of the bag. His razor blade. That one inch piece of thin steel that made him feel something. He took it out, grabbed a wash cloth and took his seat back in front of the door. As some slow song by The Get Up Kids played in his ear, he grasped the razor carefully between his thumb and finger. He started by grazing it across his older cuts, barely cutting the tough scar tissue. He dragged it a little harder over a fresh piece of skin behind his calf. He watched as tiny red beads of blood rose to the surface of his skin. As the beads became larger and formed a line of dripping blood, he dabbed it with the washcloth. He applied some pressure until it stopped. He took his razor again and dug into his pale skin above the last cut. He pressed harder until the wound stung. He dragged the piece of steel back and lifted it away from his skin. He breathed deeply and put the razor down. This time, blood surfaced faster. He pressed the washcloth into his leg as he hit his head against the back of the door and wept. Kurt didn't believe in God, but sometimes he prayed for the _courage _to drag that razor across his wrist and press down.

"Kurt!" Finn stormed into the house downstairs. "Dude, where the hell are you?" He dropped his backpack to the ground and walked into the kitchen looking for his stepbrother. "Kurt?" He yelled louder. "You fucking forgot me at school!" While he was in the kitchen, he grabbed an apple from the counter and made his way upstairs, stomping with each step trying to get his angered point across. He shoved open Kurt's bedroom door only to find his messenger bag on the ground. "Dude, where are you?" He asked as he lowered his voice back to normal. Finn peaked into Kurt's room and looked around. He spun around and looked down the hallway. He noticed the bathroom door closed, but light shining from under the small crack. Finn walked down the hall and tapped on the door. "Kurt, can I have a word with you?" Silence. He knocked harder, nearly pounding on the door. "Dude!" He placed his ear to door and listened for a running shower. Instead he heard the sound of someone sobbing.

Kurt was busy on the other side of the door, engaged in the loud music making short, fast, shallow cuts up his leg. He was crying. Gasping for breath every so often. His eyes only focused on the crimson colour that made up his leg. All of the sudden, he was disturbed from his trance as he took a blow to his back as Finn kicked in the door.

"Dude, what happened today? You were suppose to wait for-" Finn paused. He took a moment to soak in what he just walked in on.

"Get out! Finn get out of here!" Kurt screamed as he tried hiding his leg from his stepbrother.

To say Finn was shocked was an understatement. "Kurt…" He whispered. "What are you doing?" He dropped his apple.

Kurt sat there and cried. "God Finn, just leave me alone!"

"I'm not leaving you here." He stepped inside the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He sat down beside Kurt and grabbed him. He pulled him into his big quarter back arms and held him against his chest. The comfort and contact of someone had Kurt crying harder. He buried his face into Finn's shirt. Finn rocked Kurt in his arms telling him over and over again that it was going to be okay. He grabbed the blood stained washcloth and held it against his stepbrother's leg.

"Don't tell my dad" Kurt coughed out in between sobs.

Finn wasn't going to promise that. "Kurt, you're a lot more loved that you think you are." Finn leaned down and kissed the top of his head. "I care for you so much."

Kurt's crying slowly turned into labored breathing. Finn didn't let go. He held him in his arms and rubbed his back. Finn observed the marks on Kurt's leg. Both new and old. He felt sick to his stomach over the fact that he had no idea Kurt was doing this to himself. Finn felt guilty and terrible. He couldn't help but think he failed at being a brother to Kurt.

At this point, Kurt had calmed down and was quietly sniffling against Finn. He had saturated his shirt in tears, not that either of them cared. Finn picked up his iPod that had been tossed to the ground during his initial entrance. He scrolled through the songs until he found what he was searching for. City and Colour. He put one of the ear buds in his ear and the other one in Kurt's. Kurt adjusted it properly. The two boys both listened to the song that played in their ears. As the chorus came, Finn sung out loud. Beautifully.

_So save your scissors_

_For someone else's skin_

_My surface is so tough_

_I don't think the blade will dig in_

_Save your strength_

_Save your wasted time_

_There's no way that I want you to be left behind_

_Go on save your scissors_

As the song ended, Kurt wiped his eyes. "Thank you, Finn." He said softly. Finn wasn't letting him go. He never encountered a situation like this and wasn't sure what to do next. He knew he had to talk to Burt and his mother about this. He knew Kurt needed professional help. He knew he wanted to _kill_ everyone who ever put Kurt down at McKinley. But at that moment, he knew Kurt needed him. He rested his head on the back of the door as Kurt had cried himself to sleep.

Finn sighed. There were so many thoughts going through his head. But the most important one, he needed to share with Kurt. He leaned down and whispered into Kurt's ear. "I love you, Bro."

**A/N: Please review! Leave love not fire xoxo My original idea for this was supposed to be a short drabble. Then I just couldn't stop typing.**


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